


Dandelions

by necositis



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Cults, Basically my own 358/2 Days AU, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Bullying, Cannibalism, Character Death, Diary/Journal, F/M, Growing Up, Multi, Murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, POV Third Person Limited, Suicide, Tags Contain Spoilers, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:17:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16466804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necositis/pseuds/necositis
Summary: No one knows me better than me.Or… at least, I would like to think so.This is Roxas' life. This is all that he knows, but soon it'll come crashing down. Roxas lives in The Home with a bunch of rough people who all have their dark pasts, but all that matters to him is his friends. They're all growing up together in this home.





	1. 8/10

**8/10**

 

No one knows me better than me.

Or… at least, I would like to think so.

 

I don’t know where I’m from. Everyone around here doesn’t know where I’m from. But I don’t think that matters. I am “me”, now. The “me” now knows Xion and Axel, my closest friends. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I don’t know what everyone here thinks about friendship. I think that Vexen and Saïx would find it pointless, but we all live in this house and connect every single day. We need others in our lives, and I’m so grateful for everyone in my life.

I don’t know if I should introduce myself in my own journal, but Saïx said I can write whatever I want. He’s been working closely with the superiors, so I guess this is his first assignment. Maybe he wants to become a professor like Vexen and Luxord. He said no one will read this and I should take it up as a hobby between studies.

So here we go: I’m Roxas. I’m going to turn seventeen next summer, and I’m excited. My best friends-- as I’ve said before-- are Xion and Axel. Xion is my age and she arrived here around the same time as I did. She has blue eyes just like me, and her hair is as dark as the oil on Xaldin’s hands when he’s working. We spend a lot of time together reading in the field, and we can go hours in silence, but it is such a bonding moment between us.

Axel is older than the both of us. He just turned eighteen this August. He wears a leather jacket from the thrift shop in town. Even in summer! I don’t know if Axel liked me at first when we met. He just kept saying he didn’t want to be my babysitter when Xemnas assigned him to watch me and Xion for our first town outing. Then I asked him a _lot_ of questions, but I supposed he warmed up to me. It took him slightly longer to warm up to Xion, but eventually he came around and even bought us sea-salt ice cream. Sea-salt ice cream is sweet and salty, and Axel said that it really tastes like the ocean. I wonder how he knows that. Maybe he lived by one once?

He’s really not so scary under that fiery red hair and serpent like eyes. We like to take old cans and milk bottles and set them up on broken boards so we can chuck rocks at them before dinner. I like how he looks at me now.

* * *

 

            Today was Xion time for Roxas. The superiors always tried to fix their schedules to keep them busy from one another, but they always found a way to spend time together. Today they found it by using their reading time together while sitting in the tall, grassy field near their home. The superiors never said they had to read _alone_ after all.

            Roxas folded his arm behind his head as he reclined against the old tree and used his free hand to hold his book up. Xion sat behind him and balled up her jacket to use as a makeshift pillow. A gentle breeze would brush by and gently rustle the pages of their books and the tall, yellow grass. They remained silent for long moments as they were absorbed by their books, but once Roxas’ arm grew numb he was forced to rest it at his side. He finally broke the silence to check on Xion, “Are you enjoying your book?”

            “Mhmm,” Xion gently nodded. “Although, I’m curious about this word: interlaced.”

            “Interlaced?” Roxas repeated. “What about it?”

            “It’s a very pretty word…” Xion hummed. “I like how it’s used.”

            “What’s the context?”

            Xion cleared her throat and raised her finger to pick out the sentence. “Their fingers were interlaced and their eyes were locked with one another. ‘I won’t let you go. I promise!’ He spoke with pure desperation to make her understand his promise. She knew she could trust him. ‘Even if we’re not together, I will always be right there at your side. I will always be there for you!’ Then their hands were forced apart by the sheer force of the shaking ground beneath them.”

            Xion’s pink lips curled into a faint smile and turned her head towards Roxas. She rested her book on her lap and brought her hands to clasp them together.

            “Are they like this? Surely this would’ve been able to keep them together.”

            “Not exactly…” Roxas hummed while pulling his eyebrows together in thought. His eyes lifted up toward the sky as he thought about the word for a moment before speaking again. “Think of it like… sewing. Imagine how the thread dives into the fabric and then pops back up. Like…” Roxas finally set his book down as well and used his free hand to take one of Xion’s. Slowly, he began to press his fingers between hers and felt along her knuckles. They fit together perfectly like puzzle pieces. He smiled to himself and gently laughed while wondering why his cheeks were feeling warm. Xion’s own cheeks were dusted with pink, but she was still smiling. “Like this.”

            “I see.”

            Neither of them pulled away. Neither of them wanted to. Slowly, their hands rested on the ground, and they went back to reading their books. They remained like that for another moment, and occasionally one of them would give the other a squeeze.

            Roxas was so grateful he could have an intimate moment like this with Xion. Something they shared with each other. It was so special to Roxas. No shiny treasure on the planet was more valuable than these moments.

            “Thank you, Roxas.”     

 

* * *

 

            The rides to town were always exciting for Roxas and Xion. To the older students it was bleak and the norm since they had been doing this far longer than them. They were given allowances so they could buy approved items from town. They had to follow the rules strictly even in town because they were representing the Home.

            They weren’t allowed to buy radios, records with lyrics, alcohol, cigarettes, and more. However, Roxas and Xion usually stuck to buying candy, stationary, and approved books.

            They arrived by van that was constantly worked on by Xaldin, even though there never seemed to be anything wrong with it. The van was painted black with tinted windows, and it always earned them looks from the townsfolk. Roxas had heard the locals describe them as the strange kids from the outskirts, which Xemnas used to emphasize why the locals could not be trusted.

            Xaldin stopped at the library, and everyone began filtering out. “Three hours, everyone,” He reminded them. “Or you’re walking.” He seemed to have saved the last part for Larxene before she hopped out of the van, and it earned Xaldin a glare from her. Roxas remembered when Larxene missed the curfew and walked all the way home. She had relapsed during her time in town and began screaming her head off at Xemnas before quickly being sedated by Vexen. It was months before Larxene was allowed to go to town again.

            Roxas waited for everyone to leave before he stood up to help Xion stand from her seat so they could leave together. “Stay safe, kids,” Xaldin muttered. It sounded like Xaldin was attempting to be caring, but it came off more as a warning.

            “We will,” Roxas wearily replied and hopped out of the van with Xion.

            Twilight Town was very small. It had one grocery store to supply the town, a mechanic, a record store, a clinic, a hardware store, and of course Roxas’ favorite place: the library. They always arrived a couple hours before sunset so they knew when the street lights came on it was time to go back to the van.

            Xaldin eventually drove off with the van, and that’s when Roxas caught glimpse of Axel. He was standing with Marluxia and Larxene who were obviously waiting for Xaldin to drive out of sight so they could bring out their cigarettes and start smoking. It wasn’t Roxas’ business, and he wouldn’t dare report them to Xigbar. Axel had glanced to the side as he cupped his hand around the cigarette while Marluxia helped him light up, and winked at Roxas. They usually never hung out in town because he was always with Larxene and Marluxia who clearly did not care much for Roxas. That was fine with Roxas, however, because he didn’t care much for them. Roxas was satisfied enough with the wink as a sign of acknowledgement from Axel, and began walking away with Xion toward the library.

            However, Xion stopped Roxas. Roxas realized then that their hands were still linked together. “Xion?”

            “Roxas,” Xion said with her usual sweet voice. “Would you mind… going to the thrift store with me instead?”

            “Had a change of heart?” They both softly laughed. “That’s fine with me--”

            “Jesus Christ, get a room.” Larxene scoffed. The trio had begun walking towards them with Axel falling slightly behind Marluxia and Larxene. She placed her hand on top of Xion’s shoulder and gently shoved it. “You know Xemnas has strict rules about _fornicating_ , right?”

            Roxas felt that familiar heat return to his cheeks, and he could see that Xion was appalled by the insinuation. Although they weren’t entirely sure about the exact act of ‘fornicating’, they had some idea from examples from their books. “I think it’s sweet,” Marluxia purred as he stood a little _too_ close to Roxas. “Little love birds.”

            “We’re just hanging out… We’re going to the thrift shop.” Roxas tried to steer the conversation toward a friendlier route and tried to get himself a little further away from Marluxia.

            “You bookworms are finally going to get out of that dusty library? Good for you!” Larxene shouted sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. “Well, you kids be careful. You never know who’s creeping around the corner waiting for the opportunity to take advantage of some young… _naive_ kids.” It was clear Larxene had another word in mind, but she held back for now. She eventually took off with Marluxia into town, and eventually Axel approached Roxas and Xion.

            “You know just to ignore them,” Axel shrugged his shoulders with his hands shoved into his pockets and the cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth. Xion wafted away the smoke, and when Axel saw that he pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and held it low. “They’re just trying to mess with you. They get off on that.”

            “Get off?” Roxas repeated.

            “Never mind,” Axel scratched the side of his face and glanced at Larxene and Marluxia who had stopped some way down the road and were watching him as they impatiently waited.  “But seriously… Stay safe in town. Be aware of your surroundings. If you need help just come find me. I’ll be in the record shop with them and Demyx. Maybe you’ll find a nice jam.” Axel reached out and ruffled Roxas’ hair with his free hand before walking off. Roxas could hear the trio yelling expletives at each other in the distance.

            He returned his attention to Xion and gave her a toothy smile. “So why do you want to go to the thrift store?”

            “I’m thinking of getting some new clothes.” Xion raised a finger to her lips and her eyes turned up as she began thinking. “I saved up my allowance to buy me a new dress, at least. It’s also getting colder so I’ll need one with sleeves…” Her eyes returned to Roxas and she ended up smiling herself. “Will you help me find something?”

            “Of course. Maybe I’ll find something myself.”

 

            The thrift store was small, but had plenty stuffed inside of it. The shop was owned by an elderly lady who usually just sat at the register or occasionally dusted the shelves. She always mentioned how cute she thought Roxas and Xion were, and they would always laugh and wave their hands in response. When they entered the shop, the little bell dinged from the door, and the elderly lady was quick to greet them. “Good afternoon, kids,” She waved at them and they waved back. “It’s been a while since you’ve came by, but I’ve got some books for you in the back for you to check out.”

            “Thank you!” Roxas grinned, but then he quickly glanced at Xion. “We’ll check them out soon!” He wasn’t going to forget that they were there to find some new clothes. “Let’s go over here.”

            The lights were dim in the store and donation signs were all around. Most of the product was organized, so it didn’t take long for them to find the section for clothes. The clothes seemed to be mixed with men and women’s clothing, but that didn’t stop Xion from digging in. Another rule they had to follow was a strict monochrome palette for their clothes, which meant most of their clothes were typically gray or black. The scheme matched well with Xion with her dark hair and olive features, but Roxas had dreamt once of Xion in a blue sundress that matched the sea-salt ice cream they ate.

            “Anything so far?” Roxas asked as he began pawing through the racks of clothes. He wondered where they came from or how they got there.

            “I see a jacket… but I really want a dress.” Xion continued to dig through and eventually she happened upon a black blazer, and she held it up to Roxas. Roxas turned his body toward her so she could compare it and witnessed her ‘thinking face’ which was her squinting her eyes ever so slightly. She ended up putting the blazer back and Roxas pursed his lips.

            “I’m guessing that was a no?”

            “Wrong size. Otherwise… I think it would’ve been fitting.” Xion kept searching for clothes and made a point to keep her face hidden from Roxas who was suffering a case of burning cheeks once more.

            “Noted…”

            “Here we are!” Xion tugged out the dress from the clutches of rejected clothes and held it up for Roxas to see. It was a black dress with thin straps that had tiny daisies printed all over it. She flipped the dress over back and forth so Roxas could see the entire thing. “What do you think?”

            “That is _very_ Xion…” Roxas reached out to touch the fabric and released the dress. “But you’ll have to wear something beneath…” Xemnas had a modesty rule as well.

            “I know, I know. I have something for it. I have to get it.” She reached for the price tag that was dangling from the side and hummed once she read the price. “I have just enough. I’m so glad… Roxas, did you want to go look at the books, now?”

            “Yes, please. I don’t think I’m going to have a lucky find with the clothes like you did.” He softly chuckled and they both headed toward the book section.

 

 

            “Looks like you found some good treasures,” The elderly woman said once Roxas and Xion set their purchases on the counter. Xion was patting her dress as she admired the fabric, and Roxas dropped four books down that he was clearly eager to dig into. “Let’s ring this all up.”

            While the elderly woman was tallying up their total, Roxas could hear some faint, playful shouting outside. He moved to the side to take a look at the window behind the woman and saw a couple of kids tossing a ball around in the road. One was a brunette girl whose pigtails bounced around as she ran in circles with the ball in her arms, and one of the boys who had black hair like Xion’s seemed to be out of breath from chasing after her. Finally, the dirty blonde boy from the bunch finally snagged the ball out of the brunette’s arms and raised it in the sky with triumph. Roxas smiled from the sight, but didn’t feel Xion’s gaze upon him. He only snapped out of it when the elderly woman told them their total, and Roxas and Xion pooled their money together to play.

            Roxas grabbed his bag of books as Xion grabbed her dress and they headed out of the store. They had another hour and a half to kill, and Roxas felt a little curious about the kids he saw. They were still outside but now they were resting with their bikes against the wall opposite from the thrift store. Their attention was caught quickly by Roxas and Xion, but they didn’t give the typical strange look the locals usually gave them. “Hey!” The dirty blonde called out to them. He waved and started to approach both Roxas and Xion, and the other two followed behind him.

            Xion cautiously stood closer to Roxas, but Roxas didn’t budge. He still had the smile on his face from earlier. “Hey,” Roxas finally responded when the boy got close enough.

            “You two are from that weird black van that comes every week, right?” The boy asked so casually that it caught Roxas off guard. He didn’t know if he should be weary from the question.

            “Hayner…” The brunette spoke with an underlying scolding tone. “That’s rude.”

            “My bad, my bad,” The boy—Hayner, raised his hands and then used his index fingers in a rolling motion as if he was backtracking. “I mean… I’m Hayner. This is Olette,” he gestured toward the brunette who waved at them. Roxas felt compelled to wave back, but Xion didn’t move. “And this is Pence,” Hayner gestured toward the other boy who gave them a wide grin.

            “Hi Hayner, Pence, Olette…” Roxas returned the friendly smile. “I’m Roxas, and this is Xion,” Roxas toward slightly toward Xion who eventually gave into waving. “And… yeah. We’re the kids from that van. It’s really not creepy, I promise.” He didn’t know why he felt like he had to defend himself.

            “Hayner really didn’t mean to call it weird,” Olette began, and when Hayner went to speak she stepped in front of him. “It’s just something you don’t see often. We’ve never interacted with anyone who came off of the bus, but now that we’re talking to you it’s not so weird now!”

            “Oh, I see,” Roxas nodded and glanced at Xion. “I think I’ve seen you guys around before. You always seem like you’re having fun.”

            “Totally,” Pence replied as he folded his arms behind his head. “Especially around this time of year. In a couple weeks we have school again, so we do as much as we can for summer vacation.”

            “Summer… vacation?” Xion repeated, clearly confused by the words.

            “Yeah, summer vacation! Don’t you guys go to school?” Hayner placed his hands on his hips and tilted his head to the side.

            “Well we have classes every day. I suppose that’s like school, right? But we don’t have… summer vacation.” Roxas explained, and Pence suddenly looked like he was going to drop from shock.

            “You don’t even have weekends? That’s insane!” Pence shouted. “How can you survive like that?”

            “I like class…” Xion straightened out a little. She no longer felt like the trio were threatening. “I like learning whatever my professors have to offer, and I always have Roxas there with me.”

            Hayner quirked one of his eyebrows with a faint grin. “Oh,” He said as if he had stumbled upon a discovery. “Well, you guys can have summer vacation with us! The next time you’re in town we can hang out together. How does that sound?”

            “That sounds awesome,” Roxas felt the little light in his chest swelling from excitement. “Xion?” He turned his head toward her knowing she seemed a little unsure.

            “… That sounds nice to me, too.” She responded with a smile. Roxas felt the swelling even more now that he knew Xion wanted to make friends, too.

            “Roxas! Xion!”

            Roxas and Xion quickly turned their heads toward the shouting voice, and saw Axel down the road. “Let’s go to the store!” Roxas was shocked to have Axel inviting them somewhere in the town. He didn’t see Marluxia or Larxene anywhere nearby, and figured that must be why Axel was inviting them.

            Roxas turned his head toward Hayner, Pence, and Olette. “Sorry, we gotta go. But we’ll come see you next week! We always get dropped off at the library.”

            Hayner took a look at Axel before returning to Roxas and gave him a nod. “You got it. We’ll see you next week, then.” Hayner then held his hand out toward Roxas, and Roxas looked at it for a moment before reaching out to clasp his hand with Hayner’s before giving him a mighty handshake. Xigbar taught him that.

            While shaking Hayner’s hand, however, Roxas felt a small spark in his head. He remained silent and released Hayner’s hand before giving the group a wave goodbye before walking toward Axel with Xion. He could hear Xion saying something, but it was muffled. He was so close to Axel, but eventually he began to blur out of sight. He eventually reached out for Axel and felt his bag slide off of his arm as fireworks went off in his eyes. He eventually dropped hard onto the road beneath him, and that was it.

 

 


	2. 8/15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas wakes up and brushes off his sudden comatose state in hopes of going back to his normal routine, but life isn't that simple, is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second chapter has some major content warnings such as (SPOILER) suicide & bullying. It will continue to be graphic from here on out, but if that is your cup of tea then enjoy this chapter. The tags will also contain some spoilers, and a friendly reminder I am new to AO3's system so if there is a major tag you feel should be included please let me know. Thank you for reading. 
> 
> Please don't feel like you're alone in this world and have no one to talk to. Someone cares about you. I care about you. Text 741741 to get help if you need anyone to talk to.

**8/15**

 

            Well, that was a long nap.

            Vexen said I shouldn’t joke so much about matters like this. I was asleep for two days after feeling strange in town. Apparently, I hit the ground hard, and Axel had to scoop me up and call for Xaldin to return early to get me home. I’m trying to imagine Axel sweeping me up. I’m sure he did it so easily. He seems strong. Anyway, I made everyone really worry and I feel bad for concerning Xion. I’m not too worried. I used to sleep a lot when I was younger.

            I had strange dreams, though. This boy— who I believe was a year or two older than me, kept telling me that he was too dangerous to be around. I kept telling him I didn’t care, but the voice wasn’t mine. It came out of my mouth, though. We fought over our feelings, and it made my heart feel strange and strained. I’m not surprised to have such an odd dream considering the odd circumstances. I wonder why that boy with silver hair seemed so _cold_.

            These kinds of dreams aren’t unusual. Sometimes I daydream during class and I have these flashes of moments. Xemnas said that it is just my intense imagination getting to me and that my books might magnify it. I’ve mentioned it to Xion and she likes to listen to my stories, but when I bring it to Axel, he’s quick to change the subject.

            I need to go to class now. I feel fine. I wish Axel would stop looking at me so concerned from across the room with so much concern. I’m seriously fine.

* * *

            “Roxas,” Axel called out, and Roxas finally looked up from his journal. He marked his place using the strip of black silk sewn into the leather journal and closed it. “Do you _really_ feel okay?”

            “Axel, I’m okay. Please, believe me.” Roxas offered Axel a soft smile and threw his legs over the edge of his bed to sit up. Roxas and Axel had been sharing the room for years now. He had overheard from Larxene that Saïx and Axel used to share a room when they first got here, but their fighting caused Xemnas to separate them. Roxas couldn’t imagine them fighting when they hardly ever spoke a word together.

            Roxas and Axel’s beds were up against opposite walls. Both contributed to the messy room with their clothes tossed about the room. Sometimes Roxas would mix their laundry up and wouldn’t realize he had put on one of Axel’s shirts until he was drowned in the fabric from the length. The shirts always smelled heavily of Axel’s cologne, which Roxas liked to sniff. Axel was sitting on his bed with his back against the wall with a knee up. His arm was resting on his knee and his chin rested in the lazily raised palm. “You hit the ground like a damn rock. I don’t know how you did it. You were just standing there, and it was as if you turned into _stone_. Listen,” Axel raised his free hand to ruffle his spiky locks. “I’ll stop harping on you as long as you report to me how you’re feeling, okay? If you start feeling out of it again… Let me know. It’ll give me some peace of mind.” Roxas nodded, but Axel caught his attention with a suddenly intense stare. “Promise?”

            “Promise, Axel.” Roxas smiled again, and he began to feel warm from the concern that Axel was showing. Although, it made him feel bad he was worrying him and Xion so much. “Right now, I feel good and I want to go downstairs and head to class.”

            “Alright…” Axel hopped off his bed and began pawing around on the ground for one of his jackets. Currently, Axel was only dressed in his dark jeans and a black tank top. Roxas could see from Axel’s exposed arms all the scars scattered across his tan skin and wondered where they came from. Axel’s life before the home was such a mystery. Axel in _general_ was an enigma. “I gotta skip for today. The boss man wants to talk to me.”

            “Really? What did you do this time?” Roxas spoke with a hint of snark and Axel shot him an amused look.

            “Nada. I swear. We have some business to talk about.” Axel finally found one of his knitted black sweaters and slid it on. “Now get to class before Vexen rips you a new one. Just because you’ve been in a coma for two days will not excuse you.”

            “Okay, okay…” Roxas slid his journal under his pillow and made a beeline for the closet to find himself to wear for class. Vexen always liked to keep the classroom cold no matter what time of year it was so it was always best to find a sweater. Roxas paused as he dug through his closet when he found a white sweater with a row of checkers sewn across it. He pulled it out and felt his hand along the thick material and found a note pinned to the sleeve. It simply had Xion’s signature on it, and Roxas smiled from ear to ear. He quickly slid it on and looked in the mirror to admire how it looked on himself. “Thank you…” He whispered to himself before grabbing his book bag to take off downstairs.

* * *

           “Nice of you to join us, Roxas,” Vexen greeted Roxas with a hint of… what Roxas could only guess as Vexen’s positive tone. Roxas rubbed the back of his neck shyly and muttered a soft ‘thanks’ before taking his seat. The classroom was impressively large enough to hold all the students, their desks, and the bookshelves. The Home was just a typical mansion before Xemnas renovated it, and Roxas often wondered if this room was created by merging two rooms. Roxas sat toward the left of the classroom near the windows so he could go on with his typical day dreaming. Today, the sight out of the nearest window was the sign of fall arriving with the leaves browning. Soon they’d be a nice red akin to Axel’s hair.

            Roxas looked over to his right where Xion sat, and she was smiling so wide because of Roxas wearing the sweater she gifted him. He mouthed ‘thank you’ to her, and then saw Saïx glaring at them from the upper right of the classroom. Roxas pressed his lips together in a thin line and did his best not to roll his eyes—something he saw Larxene do to Xigbar multiple times—and started unpacking his bag. He brought out his notebook that was full of sticky notes hanging out the side and then his pens. He was eager to get back to his normal routine. He wasn’t going to let one weird sleep spell get to him.

            The strange sleep spells that Roxas was cursed with baffled everyone in The Home. It was the main reason why Roxas didn’t know about his younger years. He knew he roughly came to The Home when he was twelve or thirteen but didn’t remember anything before that. He didn’t know how he came to The Home aside from Xemnas welcoming him in. He didn’t know who raised him before, and the story was similar for Xion. Roxas hadn’t given it much thought, even when he started becoming more coherent when he got out of his sleep spells.

            Suddenly, Roxas felt something light hit his head and he twisted his head quickly to see a balled-up piece of paper was tossed at him by Larxene. “Pay attention, _Roxas_ ,” Larxene spoke so snarky as she went back to picking at her nails. Roxas returned his eyes to the front where Vexen was giving him a mean look. Roxas lowered his eyes at his notebook and began scribbling gibberish notes down to act as if he had been paying attention.

            Sometimes he wished Larxene would just run away from The Home again…

            But never return.

* * *

            “Roxas!” Xion gave Roxas a leaping hug when they exited the classroom. Roxas caught her and swung her from side to side for a moment before setting her on her feet. He noticed that Xion was wearing the dress she had bought from town with a black and white striped long sleeve underneath. He smiled to himself as he wondered if she saved wearing it for when he woke. “I’m so glad you’re looking better…” She then glanced down at the sweater and returned her gaze to Roxas. “… And the sweater looks really good on you, too.”

            “I’m glad, too.” Roxas reached down to grab the hem of his sweater and took another look at the sewn checkers. “I love it, Xion. Did you sew it yourself?”

            “I did! I asked Zexion for some help,” As she mentioned Zexion, he managed to walk by and gave them a mere glance before continuing to walk away. Zexion was always so quiet, but everyone in class knew he was the smartest of the bunch. He was also special because he was officially adopted by Xemnas meaning he was always referred to as ‘son’. It was a little intimidating to be around him, but occasionally Roxas felt like Zexion warmed up to him at times when he wasn’t buried into a book.

            “Well, you did an excellent job. I’m so sorry I scared you… But your dress looks so pretty on you.” Roxas let go of the hem of his sweater and then rested a hand on his messenger bag. “Are you going to go read, now?”

            Just then, Larxene came by with Marluxia and made a point to shove Xion aside as she walked near. Roxas reached out to catch Xion to keep her from bumping into the nearby wall and this time Roxas gave her a glare. “Watch it!”

            The tone. The tone was so unfamiliar from Roxas. He rarely shouted or was so stern, and Roxas felt his face drain a little bit with a sweat because he could feel the temper from Larxene rising. She stopped mid-walk, and then turned at a pivot on heel to face him. “What did you say?”

            “I-I said…”

            “Ah. Suddenly, Larxene…” Marluxia crept by. “… The little one has nothing to say.”

            “Roxas…” Xion whispered as she reached for Roxas’ wrist to pull him along. “Let’s just go…”

            “You’re not going anywhere,” Larxene laughed and reached for the front of Roxas’ sweater and tugged him close. “I want to hear what you said. You were just brave a second ago. What happened?” Larxene reached into her jacket’s pocket and pulled out a tiny switch blade that startled both Roxas and Xion when she flicked it open. “Cat got your tongue?”

            “Larxene, please…” Xion was on the verge of begging and refused to let go of Roxas’ wrist.

            “I… I _said_ …” Roxas swallowed as Larxene ran the back of the blade along his chin. “… I said **watch it**.”

            “Ooh,” Marluxia’s lips curled upwards and began to laugh himself. “I see he’s not backing down. Thirteen finally developed a spine.”

            “Larxene! You’re going to get in trouble! Just let him go!” Xion shouted, and that caught Larxene’s attention quickly. She snapped her head toward Xion and narrowed her gaze.

            “You two _really_ piss me off. You think you’re safe just because you’re young. Soon, you’re going to learn that you’re just as vulnerable as anyone else!” Larxene let go of Roxas after shoving him against the wall and went after Xion instead. Roxas was quick to grab Larxene’s wrist to keep her from hurting Xion. Just as Xion winced, they heard loud clapping from the end of the hallway.

            “Alright, kids. Break it up. I’d like to keep watching but Xemnas would be _pissed_ if we got blood on his new carpet.” Walking down the hall slowly was Xigbar. Xigbar was one of the superiors that was responsible for discipline and physical health, which seemed to blur together when he had them do an obstacle course that often led them injured. His entire presence was always intimidating being number Two to Xemnas’ side. Seeing him outside of meetings usually meant someone was about to be punished.

            Larxene stepped back from Xion and went to return her pocket knife to her jacket, but Xigbar held his hand out. “No, no, Twelve. Hand it over.” She glanced at the knife and decided the knife wasn’t worth a deeper punishment, and quickly tossed it to Xigbar who gracefully caught it by the handle. “Good girl.”

            Xigbar then turned to Roxas and Xion, and Xion went back to clinging to Roxas’ arm. “You two are usually good at keeping out of trouble. What happened with that?”

            “We didn’t do anything! Larxene started—” Xion began to plead but was quickly cut off.

            “I don’t care who started what,” Xigbar rolled his eye and pocketed the knife. “Listen, I won’t bring anyone to the chamber if we let this little incident go.” Roxas felt flushed again from the idea he would potentially be sent to the chamber for something that wasn’t entirely his fault to begin with. “I am not in the mood for your pissy teenage attitudes right now. We have feast tonight, and I’m not going to miss out on the preparations because of you brats. Xemnas will serve _my_ head on a platter if everything isn’t right.” Xigbar reached up to touch his eyepatch as he spoke, which made everyone feel as if maybe he was being serious. “Got it? Now, go do whatever the hell you do. _Go._ ”

            Xigbar then began walking off, leaving the four shocked that he dismissed them so easily. It made Roxas’ stomach churn because no one _ever_ got out of a punishment. Roxas reached for Xion’s hand so they could quickly leave the scene without causing more distress, but Larxene was quick to stand in their way. “Xion, expect a surprise in your bed tonight.” She jerked her head close to Roxas and Xion to watch them wince, and both Larxene and Marluxia busted out into laughter before taking off themselves. Roxas felt weary for Xion, because just like how Roxas and Axel were roommates, Xion and Larxene were as well. Once, Larxene left some thumbtacks in Xion’s bed, and Roxas remembered her constantly rubbing along her back where she was pricked even after the small scabs healed.

            “Ah…” Xion stood close to Roxas and pressed her forehead against his shoulder. “That was so scary, Roxas…”

            “… No kidding. I wish Axel was here…” Roxas made sure the two were completely out of sight before he began walking the opposite way with Xion.

            “Did Axel skip class again?” Xion asked as she tried to gather herself. Roxas could tell by the way Xion’s hand was twitching that she was afraid. He remembered how she twitched and stuttered when she came to The Home, but she got much better over the years. She always thanked Roxas and Axel for her improvement.

            Roxas gently caressed his thumb along Xion’s hand. It felt like the most natural thing to do in order to comfort her. “No, actually. He said he had some business with Xemnas to take care of. Whatever that means…” Roxas stopped at the end of the hall to look around. He wondered if Axel was still talking to Xemnas when preparations for feast was starting. “Shoot,” Roxas glanced at the nearby stairway that was guarded by two silent Pegasus statues. “I forgot all about feast. We should get ready for that. I should find Axel, too.”

            “Did you misplace your cloak?” Xion had a small smirk on her face, and Roxas caught it just in time to let go of her hand so he could squeeze her cheek.

            “It’s _really_ not that messy in there.” Roxas began to laugh as Xion reached back to squeeze his cheek, too.

            “Uh-huh, I’ll believe it when I see it!”

            “Not fair! You’re not allowed in there!”

            Roxas and Xion filled the empty lobby with their laughter, and it echoed throughout the halls. Soon they released their grip on each other and sighed. “Well, I’ll let you go so you can buy time to find your cloak.” Xion began to head up the stairs and grazed her fingertips along the railing. “At least I get to sit by you at the table. That’ll make up for our reading time.”

            “I’ll make up my reading time for you. I owe you since I was conked out.” Roxas watched Xion make her way up the stairs and she waved him goodbye, and Roxas waved back. He waited until she was completely up the stairs before taking the stairs himself on the opposite side to return to his room.

            Roxas returned to his room and was surprised to see that Axel hadn’t returned. He dropped his messenger bag off at the door and headed for the closet to check if Axel’s cloak was still there. It was gone. He supposed Axel had gotten ready early while he was in class, but that was… unusually. If Axel was skipping class, he was usually with Larxene and Marluxia or fitting in time for a cat nap. Axel wasn’t with the terrible duo, and Axel wasn’t in the bed, so it was odd. Roxas merely shrugged and began looking for his own cloak, and after digging around the room he managed to find it.

            There were aspects of feast that he enjoyed. They all sat in numerical order, and since Roxas was thirteen and Xion was fourteen they were able to sit next to each other at the round table. However, that meant they also had to sit next to Xemnas, which terrified Roxas. He always felt like if he breathed wrong, he would get reprimanded by Xemnas, but Xemnas had never punished him before. The anxiety was unnecessary, but it still lingered. He tended to relax when Xemnas began his speeches, which was another aspect he enjoyed about feast.

            Xemnas would remind them why they were all there. They were all chosen by him for various reasons, and although the reason may not be obvious to them at first, they were important to him nonetheless. Any minor concerns Roxas would have regarding his unknown past or current issues always felt like they were washed away in an instant when Xemnas would begin speaking while they ate their food.

            Although, that was the part of feast Roxas disliked: the food. Roxas was always so grateful for the meals that were prepared for them because it was a joint effort by everyone to collect herbs and veggies from the garden and the cooking was cycled from member to member, but the usual food they ate was much different from feast. Feast was always _meat_. No matter how maybe herbs and spices or whatever Xaldin used to marinate the meat with it Roxas didn’t enjoy it. Everyone else seemed to eat it just fine, but Roxas couldn’t get around it. Nonetheless, he always cleaned his plate, because it would be the same as spitting in Xemnas’ face if he left any meat go to waste.

            He slid on his black, leather cloak that draped him all the way down to his ankles and fastened his boots. They never wore the cloak out to town because it was solely a ceremonial garment, and he figured people in town would think they were even _stranger_ if they were seen in it. The cloak completely covered them if they put their hoods on, and that sometimes made it hard to decipher who was who when they had it on. Roxas checked himself in the nearby mirror and picked at his spiky cowlick before sliding on his hood. He then looked at the clock and decided being a couple minutes early was fine, although he was concerned still that he hadn’t seen Axel.

            Luckily being in a “coma” for two days helped his appetite.

* * *

             Other members began to file into the dining room with Roxas and they all took their assigned seats. The table was golden, and it seemed real considering it was impossible to move. It went well with the overhanging chandelier that dimly lit the room but provided enough light to see their meals and the large, overlooking portrait of Xemnas on the wall. The high ceiling made the room feel so large even with fourteen people filling the room through the double doors. There was another door that led to the kitchen which Xaldin and Xigbar would soon come through to serve their portions.

            Roxas watched as the others filled their seats with their hoods on. Only a couple of members were missing like Xigbar and Xaldin and of course, Xemnas. Larxene also wasn’t present, which Roxas thought was odd considering as Marluxia took his seat. Roxas’ anxiety spiked when he didn’t see Xion at first and thought perhaps Larxene was giving her a hard time in their room, but Xion soon appeared and sat beside Roxas. Under her hood, Roxas could see her small smile and he returned it before going back to watch the others. Axel soon came and took his seat, and he glanced at Roxas and Xion before turning his gaze toward the double doors. Saïx was the last to come through, and he took his seat next to Axel. Saïx was member Seven, and Axel was Eight.

Then the door closed, and there was some slight murmuring between Demyx, Zexion, Marluxia, and Axel. Saïx didn’t say a word. Roxas knew they were mumbling about Larxene who should’ve taken her place beside Roxas as Twelve, but no one else came through the doors. Roxas looked at Xion, and Xion shook her head to indicate she wasn’t aware of Larxene’s whereabouts. Everyone continued to mutter, but quickly became silent when the doors opened again to reveal their leader. Everyone stood up in respect as Xemnas entered without his hood and he scanned the table before motioning for them to sit. Roxas wondered if he was going to address Larxene’s absence, because no one _ever_ missed feast, but he made his way to his head chair and sat down. They all sat, but the younger members continued to glance at each other.

Roxas gazed at Xemnas as he took his seat near him but decided directly staring for too long was rude and forced his gaze upon the empty table before him.

“Thank you for gathering here, everyone,” Xemnas began. His voice was thick and low, Roxas could feel his voice vibrating in his chest, sometimes. “We have a wonderful feast coming to us, tonight. This feast is what brings us that much closer to not only our path, but to me. We are all connected. I am just as connected to you as you are connected to anyone else. I want you to know our rules are created for your benefit and to keep you on the path to ascend.” Xemnas raised his hand, and soon Xaldin and Xigbar came through the kitchen door to wheel out silver platters that were covered by a silver dome on a cart. One by one everyone was served a platter, but they had to wait for Xemnas to give the command to eat. Roxas audibly thanked Xigbar as Xigbar handed him the platter, and he caught a creepy smile from Two before he walked away to serve Xemnas. It gave Roxas chills.

“I have chosen each of you for special reasons. I know the reasons may not be apparent now, and they may never seem obvious to you, but you are vital to our ascension. You are unlike any other being on this earth. You are the beings between light and dark. Where you came from you served no purpose to anyone until you came here,” Xemnas placed his index on top of the silver dome of his platter. “This is where you have meaning. Therefore, we have you dispose of your past. You are now merely a shell of who you were, and the person you will become when you ascend to Kingdom Hearts will be your _true_ self.” Xemnas then motioned for them to open their platters.

            They all raised the dome off in unison and placed it to the right of their dish. The meat that was revealed was a dark gray, brownish color with some chopped onions and garlic powder sprinkled across it with drizzled sauce. To top it off, it was decorated with some basil, but it was still unappetizing for Roxas. Roxas still didn’t understand why this meal they ate every month was special and helped them on their path to Kingdom Hearts, but the path _was_ special to him. He timidly glanced at Xemnas and was almost startled to find that Xemnas was staring at him expectantly. Roxas then quickly grabbed his utensils to slice into the meat and quickly took a bite as some blood oozed out. He chewed and chewed, and it took all his willpower not to make a face in front of Xemnas, and he managed to swallow with a satisfied sigh. Xemnas’ gaze was lifted from him and returned to speaking to everyone at the table.

            Kingdom Hearts. When it was first explained to Roxas about Xemnas’ research it was hard for him to grasp onto, and he didn’t completely understand it even now, but it was easier to swallow. Kingdom Hearts was not _just_ a place, but a force. It was _everything_ that ran the world. Xemnas had researched it when he was about Roxas’ age and discovered two kinds of beings: light and dark. Miraculously, all fourteen of them were in between. This made them chosen ones to ascend to Kingdom Hearts, which would make them complete beings because in their current state they were just _nobodies_. They weren’t meant to exist, which was how they ended up at The Home. Perhaps it was easier for Roxas and Xion to follow the path because they did not remember their past and therefore not tainted by sins, but the superiors proved that the path is achievable.

            Xemnas sought out other nobodies just like him to help them onto the path. He took them all in out of _pure_ kindness, and that was what made Roxas respect Xemnas. He owed everything to him.

            Roxas continued to eat his meal, and eventually he wasn’t phased by the taste anymore. Roxas was still curious why Xemnas hadn’t brought up Larxene’s absence, but he supposed maybe Xemnas knew she had relapsed again, and it would be another screaming session in the night when she would be dragged to the chamber for punishment. He shrugged to himself and looked at Xion’s plate and was impressed with how it was almost gone. He then switched to Axel’s plate, and caught Axel pushing the meat around before reluctantly putting it in his mouth.

            Dinner was a little more content without Larxene’s snickering.

* * *

             Everyone was full after feast. Everyone had cleaned their plate, and even though Xemnas’ expression never changed, Roxas wanted to believe he was satisfied by it. Everyone was dismissed by a wave of Xemnas’ hand, and everyone thanked him for the meal before they began filtering out to the hall to return to their rooms. Roxas stayed by the door so he could talk to Xion and Axel, but he noticed Demyx and Marluxia staying close to a nearby wall to mumble.

            “I truly don’t know where that lightning bug went,” Marluxia ran his fingers through his floral pink hair. “She went to her room after her smoke break, and that was all.”

            “Maybe she ran away again…” Demyx rubbed his chin and kept looking down the hall expectantly.

            Roxas pondered about what Marluxia said. Larxene was heading to her room, but Xion hadn’t seen her.

            Just then, Xion and Axel left the dining room together and they both made their way to Roxas. “It was a little tender, don’t you think?” Axel asked as he began to pick at his teeth.

            “Axel,” Xion pursed her lips, and Axel dropped his hand with a sigh. “Where’s Larxene?”

            “You didn’t see her in your room?” Roxas asked, and Xion turned to Roxas with a shake of her head.

            “No. I was surprised because of how she was acting earlier. I thought she would be there to pounce on me, but I didn’t see her come in the entire time I was getting ready.” Xion then slid off her hood and shook out her hair.

            Axel followed suit and shrugged. “Who knows with that bimbo? Maybe she’s shooting up in the bathroom, again.”

            “It’s going to be another long night if that’s the case,” Roxas groaned and slid his hood off while running his fingers through his cowlick. “I hope Xigbar has the sedative ready,” Roxas laughed softly, but stopped when he saw Xigbar heading out of the dining room and down the hall. “It’s weird none of the superiors said anything…”

            “I don’t think Xemnas thinks it’s worth our time to worry where she is. She’ll show up and we’ll get a show.” Axel turned his head to the side to see Saïx staring at him at the end of the hall, and Axel rolled his eyes before reaching out to ruffle Roxas and Xion’s hair. “It’s time for bed, kiddos. Want me and Roxas to walk you back, Xi?”

            Xion smiled wide at the offer, but then her brows furrowed with concern. “Won’t you guys get in trouble for coming by my room?”

            “Nah. The superiors are busy cleaning up. We’re not going into your room, anyway.” Axel gave Roxas a wink, and Roxas felt that familiar flush in his face because the wink seemed to be suggesting _something_ that made Roxas remember Larxene’s teasing about ‘fornication’. “What do you say, Roxas?”

            “S-Sure,” Roxas rubbed his cheek and refused to look at Xion for the moment but could sense her radiating smile. “Let’s go!”

 

            Everyone was returning to their rooms, but everyone was keeping a look out for Larxene. They walked past the bathrooms, but there was no sign of her in there. It was getting strange because there was no way Larxene could’ve gone somewhere _far_ without someone finding her. The superiors always kept them in check, after all. Roxas shrugged it off though when they got to Xion and Larxene’s room, which had a small gold plate etched with XII  & XIV. “This is my stop,” Xion said in a sing-song-voice before doing a curtsey in her cloak, which Roxas responded with a bow and Axel followed reluctantly but decided playing along wouldn’t hurt. “Thank you for walking with me. The hallway gets mighty terrifying at night,” She couldn’t help but giggle, and the giggle was sweet enough to make both Axel and Roxas respond with a warm laugh.

            “You’re welcome, Xion. I’ll see you tomorrow for reading. Axel, why don’t you join us, tomorrow?” Roxas looked at Axel with high hopes, and Axel’s green eyes rolled side to side in contemplation.

            “… Maybe. We’ll see. _Perhaps_ ,” Those string of words usually meant no, but Roxas still hoped. “Anyway, goodnight, Xion. I’m glad we could escort you through dangerous territory.”

            Xion smiled wide at Axel before suddenly looping her arms around his body, and Axel was almost taken aback by the sudden hug. His hands hovered for a moment before he finally stopped tensing and hugged her back. Soon, Xion pulled back to give Roxas a hug as well, and Roxas returned it by swaying her side to side. “Goodnight, Axel. Goodnight, Roxas.”

            Xion got her keys out for her door and unlocked it before entering. Roxas continued to smile even as Xion closed the door and began to walk away with Axel. “Thanks for that suggestion, Axel. I think that was the best way to end feast night.”

            “No problem, Roxas.” Axel folded his arms behind his head as they walked. “Now I just wanna sleep for days.”

            “Oh, would you like to exchange curses?” Roxas teased.

            “You couldn’t handle my curse, Roxas,” The reply _seemed_ like a joke, but his tone had some hint of… darkness.

            “… Ah, how was your meeting with Xemnas?” Roxas began to change the subject, but suddenly they heard a shriek coming from Xion and Larxene’s room. It was Xion’s voice. Roxas’ chest was pounding, and he quickly turned on heel to run to Xion’s room.

            “Roxas!” Axel called out, and quickly ran after him. Even with Axel’s long legs, Roxas managed to dart off to return to Xion’s door and began banging his fist on it.

            “Xion!” Roxas continued banging, but suddenly grabbed the doorknob and thrusted the door open and entered. The room was dark, and he could hardly make out Xion’s figure as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He grabbed her shoulders to pull her close, and soon Axel caught up right behind him and his hand began sliding along the wall to find the switch and flicked it on.

            They found Larxene.

            Roxas’ eyes followed Larxene’s boots all the way up to her head, and he felt himself getting weak. Larxene was wearing her cloak while suspended by the ceiling fan with a noose around her neck. Blood was dripping at the end of her cloak, but the source could not be seen. It was enough horror from what they could see, and Roxas could feel Xion digging her nails through Roxas’ cloak and into his arm, but Roxas remained frozen from the sight. He could hear others running toward the room and still didn’t move when Marluxia and Xigbar pushed through toward Larxene’s body. Marluxia was taken aback by the scene, but he didn’t seem as shocked as Xion and Roxas.

            “Dammit, Larxene. Why did you do this?” He let out a faint laugh and balled up his fist as Xigbar grabbed a nearby chair from the study desk to get her body down. “Why did you do this without me?”

            Larxene’s body was so gruesome it caused Roxas and Xion to whimper at the sight of her body went as limp as a ragdoll, and that’s when Axel grabbed the two and pulled them close to his chest to hide them from the sight. Roxas heard Xion beginning to sob, and that was enough to bring tears to Roxas’ eyes.

            He remembered his passing thought in class how he wanted Larxene to leave.

            Not like this.


	3. 8/16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxas forces himself into an uncomfortable situation with questionable results.

            Roxas couldn’t get the sight out of his mind. The image of Larxene’s hanging body was burned behind his eyelids, and he couldn’t recall anything ever shocking him as bad as that. Roxas, Xion, and Axel were pulled out of the room and somehow they ended up in Xemnas’ study. Roxas spent a lot of time there in his early years to ask Xemnas questions and go over rules, but the visits declined over the years. They were all seated in front of his desk, and Roxas had this fear that they were in trouble.

            He picked at his nails until they began to bleed at the edges, and even the tiniest amount of blood was reminding him of the blood dripping from Larxene’s cloak. Where had it come from?

            “I’m sorry that you three had to stumble upon that scene,” Xemnas began as he was seated on the other side with his elbows resting on the desk with his hands clasped together. “I will be available for you two talk to as it’s obvious that it has impacted you in such a way…” His eyes glanced over at Axel who had his arms folded across his chest and looked rather bored. “… for you two, Roxas and Xion.” Xemnas straightened out his back and then placed the tips of his fingers on the desk. “Now, I must ask what exactly happened here.”

            “What happened?” Xion spoke so quietly, it was almost hard to hear her.

            “Xion, you are… _were_ Larxene’s roommate. You didn’t see her after class? I heard from Xigbar you had an encounter in the hallway.”

            “I didn’t… see her after that.” Xion swallowed hard, and as Roxas watched her he noticed she had been picking at her nails, too.

            “At all?” Xemnas furthered probed, and Roxas couldn’t help but wonder why Xemnas was focusing so hard on Xion. Xion merely shook her head, and Xemnas finally turned his gaze to Roxas.

            “Why did you walk Xion to her room? It is forbidden to step into anyone else’s bedroom other than your own.” Roxas rubbed his lips together and felt the horrible gut wrenching feeling he’d be sent to the chamber.

            “Xemnas, we never stepped foot in Xion’s room.” Roxas quickly turned his head to Axel who spoke for him, and he felt grateful that Axel essentially bought him some time to clear his mind. Xemnas didn’t look too pleased for Axel answering, but he reclined in his seat. “You’re always teaching us to be nice to each other, so we did the most gentleman thing by walking a young lady to her room. That’s it.”

            “Thank you, Axel.” Xemnas’ voice lowly rumbled with displeasure, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to get much out of Xion and Roxas in their shocked state. They had never stumbled across a dead body before—

            “Hah,” Xion suddenly let out a pained noise as she thrust her fingers into her hair and clenched as if attempting to pull out her hair. “ _Ow!_ ”

            “Xion? Xion!” Roxas stood up from his seat, and even though his legs still felt weak from earlier, he managed to make his way toward her and knelt beside her. One hand rested on her shoulder as she began to tremble, “Xion! What’s the matter?”

            “ _It hurts,_ ” She managed to whimper out, and Roxas sense Xemnas standing before ordering Axel to get help. Axel was quick to dart out of the room, and Xemnas just… stood there. Observing. “Why does it _hurt_ so much?”

            “Xemnas, what’s happening to her?” Roxas spoke with so much fear in his voice that it showed he was trembling from within. Xemnas didn’t answer, even when Roxas gazed up at him as he searched for an answer on his stoic face. Why wasn’t he doing anything? Why didn’t he… care? He was not moved by Larxene’s death, and now he wasn’t showing any concern for Xion’s pained state. What was going on?

            Roxas suddenly felt Xion go limp in her seat, and her head rolled back. Roxas stood up and slid his fingers along her cheeks to cup her face. “Xion!”

            “Yelling isn’t going to do anything, boy. Step aside,” Roxas hadn’t heard Vexen enter the room with Axel, and he felt him being tugged by the red head away from Xion. Roxas went to shout, but Axel’s vice grip was not going to change. Vexen observed Xion and gently removed his glove to touch along her neck to feel her pulse. “It must be the stress from tonight’s events. I feel she’s going to end up having the same sleeping spells as Roxas…” Vexen glanced at Xemnas who folded his arms across his chest at the response.

            “We’ll set her in the ward for tonight, then. We can’t exactly put her back in her room tonight, anyway.” Why were they talking so calm!? “Axel, help carry Xion to the ward so Vexen can keep an eye on her.”

            Axel finally let go of Roxas, but not before making Roxas turn to him. “Roxas, you need to go back to the room. You need some rest before you end up going into your coma state, too.” Roxas could hear his blood pumping in his ear and it was so loud it nearly muffled Axel’s words. Why was Axel so calm, too? Wasn’t Xion his friend, too?! Wait… room…

            Axel wasn’t talking about the room they shared together. He was talking about… _that_ room.

            “Got it, kiddo? Go back to the room. You better be asleep by the time I get back.” Axel stepped away from Roxas and left to swiftly scoop Xion into his arms to follow Vexen and Xemnas out of the room. Xemnas stopped at the door to motion for Roxas to follow and leave, and Roxas could still feel his blood rushing within him.

            He slowly made his way out of the room, and Xemnas closed the door and locked it with his key. Roxas stood there still for a moment in the hallway as Axel and Vexen grew smaller down the hall until they made a turn and finally disappeared completely from sight. “Roxas, everyone handles stress differently. Once Xion wakes up, she will have a clear mind and will be able to give more detail about what has happened.” There he goes again. Roxas felt so unsettled down to his stomach that Xemnas would accuse anyone within their group of… doing _that_ to one of their own, especially thinking that Xion had any involvement.

            The room. That was the place with possible answers, he thought. Xion’s truth is in that room. Axel wants him to go that room.

            “You should follow Axel’s advice and go to bed. I know it may be difficult to sleep, but once your head hits the pillow everything will be alright.” Xemnas reached out to squeeze Roxas’ shoulder, and for once in his life he _questioned_ his superior. He _questioned_ the one who provided him a home, food, bath, and family. He questioned this man and he felt a word he had never had to use for himself: resentment.

            “… I will. I’ll go to bed now. Will you let Vexen know to alert me when Xion wakes up?” Roxas pleaded with his eyes looking even more distress.

            “… Yes. I’ll forward the message to him, Number Thirteen.” Xemnas then gently pushed his back toward the direction to Roxas’ room, and Xemnas went ahead to follow where Axel and Vexen had left. Roxas slowly headed toward the direction of his room and waited at the door. It wasn’t too far from the hall where the ward was located, and he waited to hear a door closing and finally opening. Roxas used his key to unlock and open his door. He didn’t close it just yet. He rapidly kicked his boots off and tore his cloak off and chucked it all inside his room before shutting the door and took off running in the other location.

            The floorboards didn’t squeak underneath his socks and the lack of the cloak now meant no more of the shuffling sound of leather and clanking of jewelry. He was merely running in his tank top and pants and headed straight for Xion’s room.

 

            It was easy now for Roxas to hide himself in the shadows of the dark hallway. He could hear some muttering ahead, so he hugged the wall and tried to adjust his eyes as he came closer to Xion’s bedroom. The door to the bedroom was open and was the only source of light in the hall. There was enough to make out Roxas if anyone were to step out, so Roxas hid behind one of the massive pegasus statues that allowed him to peek around. He finally recognized the voices of Xigbar and Xaldin with faint grunts and sighs.

            “This is a fucking mess,” Xigbar muttered. “We’re going to make a bigger mess of her if we don’t do this right.”

            “We’ll have to go back downstairs and grab some proper material, Xigbar,” Xaldin sounded proper annoyed, but that was just how Xaldin acted for the most part. “We’ll get some tarp from the shed so Xemnas won’t force us to install new floor planks and carpet. At the rate she’s decomposing,” Roxas grimaced at the word and it gave him a sudden flashback to how haunting Larxene’s face looked. “She’ll drip all the way down the stairs.”

            “Let’s be quick, then. I don’t want Xemnas to pop in on us to check our status. He wants this done _quickly_.”

            Roxas then held his breath and sank his back against the pegasus statue as Xaldin and Xigbar left the room, shutting the door behind them, but not locking it. Roxas feared as Xaldin and Xigbar made their way down the hall, and Roxas knew he should’ve been cautious since the only exit was the way he came. However, now that the door was shut the darkness had filled the hall again, and he steadied his breathing. The two massive elders made their way past him, and all the way down the stairs without noticing a curious blond at all.

            Roxas exhaled deeply and quickly got up to face the door that caused so much peril during the night. Roxas admitted to himself that he was terrified, but he was so sure that Axel wanted him to do this. He knew something was wrong just like Roxas knew something was wrong. His legs felt weak in front of the door, but he knew he only had limited time. He swallowed and thought about the pain Xion had went through. He didn’t want her to suffer further with more questions of any kind of involvement in this terrible crime.

            He finally turned the knob to the room and pulled the door open quietly. He winced as he saw Larxene was still hanging there, and the puddle of blood beneath her grew and forced himself to shut the door behind him. “O-okay…” He whispered to himself and touched his chest as his heart pounded. “I gotta be quick…” Roxas didn’t want to look at Larxene, but he had to. That blood was drawing too much attention. He slowly walked up to her corpse and faced her. She looked even more horrifying than she did when she was threatening him and Xion in the hallway earlier that day.

            There was blood along her chest and splatter along her face. Roxas furrowed his brows as he tilted his head as he tried to ignore his sickly stomach feeling. Why would there be blood if she hung herself? At first glance, it had been nothing for Roxas to truly think about, but now that he was up close and facing her it was clear something was foul. He saw the blood had dripped from the end of her cloak, and Roxas grew even more nauseous at the thought of what he had to do.

            He was just tall enough to reach for the zipper at her collarbone. He was grateful in his panic he hadn’t taken his gloves off. He slowly pulled down the zipper and turned his head away because Larxene wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath her cloak. This was a horrific situation for multiple reasons for Roxas, now. Slowly, he gained the nerve to turn back to her, and his eyes went over every furious stab in her chest. Larxene’s upper half was nearly entirely exposed, but what caught Roxas’ attention the most was the large, gaping hole in her chest where her heart… was. _Was_.

            Roxas was even more mortified than ever before. The random stabbings were thin, but the heart was dug out in an animalistic way. He had never seen it before, not even from ditched animals in the field that had been experiments from curious children. What was this? What was going on? Did one of… _them_ do it? Who? _Why_? Roxas remembered his thought of how he wanted Larxene to be gone again, and the guilt enveloped him. He shakily brought his hand back up to the zipper and quickly jerked his hand up to cover her again.

            Suddenly, Roxas heard voices and footsteps approaching. It was going to be bad, especially if Xigbar of _all_ people caught him in that room. Roxas swallowed hard and frantically looked around the room. At first Roxas thought about the closet, but it would make too much noise to get into. He finally settled on Xion’s bed and quickly dove underneath it, snapping his legs as close as he could to his own body before Xigbar and Xaldin made their way back into the room.

            “Alright, this should do the trick,” Xigbar said before him and Xaldin rolled out some black tarp underneath Larxene. The tarp rolled close to Xion’s bed, but Roxas remained as quiet as he could. Roxas could only see Xigbar and Xaldin’s boots as they moved around the room. Xigbar moved the desk chair over to Larxene and stood on it as he began to cut her down. “Hey, catch her—”

            But Xigbar didn’t give the order fast enough to Xaldin. Larxene suddenly dropped down with a _crack_ , and her head rolled over to face Roxas. He nearly yelped but covered his mouth quickly with his clean gloved hand. What sick fate, Roxas thought. “ _Fuck_ ,” Xigbar hissed.

            “This is why we have the tarp, Xigbar. It’s fine. Let’s roll her up.”

            Xigbar hopped off the chair and began to move Larxene’s body around to make it easier to roll her up. Roxas felt panic with the thought of Xigbar possibly leaning over enough to spot Roxas, but it never happened. Xaldin and Xigbar made the joint effort to roll her up in the black tarp to keep everything tight and enclosed, but it took both to pick up her body to ensure from making a further mess.

            “Let’s get her downstairs, and then we’ll come up and deep clean. Xion will just have to deal with the stain on the wood.” Xaldin almost snickered, and it made a flame rise and prickle Roxas’ body.

            “Her face was something else… and that other twerp. They would never make it out in the real world,” Xigbar commented as they jointly lifted Larxene.

            “What do you expect? They were raised in a bubble.” Xaldin replied as they made their way out of the room, and the door closed again. Thankfully, they didn’t lock it again.

            Roxas sighed and pressed his nose against the rug beneath him as he let out a soft sob. He didn’t care that it smelled of dust. This was all so much. He never felt so helpless before, and he hadn’t found anything to help Xion. He was so terrified, and he wished Axel was there to guide him. Maybe this isn’t what Axel wanted after all. Maybe he really wanted Roxas to sleep.

            He tried to calm himself, but then as he went to move out from under the bed, he felt something cold and wet along his tank top. Roxas patted the wet spot on his shirt and lifted it up to the light from under the bed and saw _blood_. He panicked and rolled out from under the bed to analyze himself to see blood darkening a spot on his shirt. He didn’t feel any pain, and he was certain he didn’t get close enough to the body to get blood on him there, so where did it come from? He looked underneath the bed and saw some silver, and slowly reached out for it. Gently he pulled it back, and he felt shaken once he saw what it was.

 

* * *

 

 

**8/16**

I think its midnight, now.

I just got back from the room. I don’t know.

Axel isn’t in the room, so I felt the need to scribble my findings as fast as possible. Of course, I trust Axel. I do, but I need some time to process this. I don’t think I found anything to disprove Xion’s involvement, but I don’t think I found anything to prove she’s involved, either.

I found Larxene’s switchblade. It was drenched in blood. I brought it back with me and wrapped it in one of my old handkerchiefs to hide it away under my bed. I didn’t clean it. I don’t know. Why was it under Xion’s bed? I saw Xigbar take it. I saw him put it in his pocket.

Larxene had stabbings all over her chest… and from my guess it was definitely from her own switchblade. But nothing is making sense of the hole in her chest.  

I wish I could talk to Xion. I wish I could see her right now. I just want to be at her side. I want to feel her fingers around mine. I wish I could take this bad memory away for both of us. I just want to be with her right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've been working 7-8 days in a row and then I got terribly sick. This kept gnawing away at me, as it should. Now I can finally change some tags that will contain spoilers. As of now, I won't have a set posting schedule because work and holidays, but we'll see. We're so close to Kingdom Hearts 3. I can't believe it. Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter. It's been a long, long while since I've wrote fic & it's my first time using ao3 so please bear with me. I will update the tags as I go into every chapter, so be aware that the tags from here on out will contain spoilers. I will add more ship tags as well once I have them more fleshed out. Some things are still up in the air.


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